21: Dealer Wins

Victory! Mission Accomplished! Well Done! Congrats! Boo-yah!

Today we mark an important day in the illustrious history that is my life. Today we celebrate that I achieved my goal weight a meaty two months ahead of schedule.

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank the people who helped make this happen:

- The Team China coaching staff from the Bejing Olympics. Much like making a 14 year old look 16, you guys pulled together and helped me slim down with nothing but a box of cap'n crunch cereal and water torture. Thank you.

- Guy Fieri, Paula Dean and other assorted delusional hefties from the Food Network. You guys kept showing me what would happen to me if I continued to eat the fat-infused, grease trap food that "ya'll" keep shoveling down your throats. And even after you all are long gone from some form of heart disease related demise within the next few years I will tell your tale and speak your praise over how you helped me achieve this.

- Ian Somerhalder from "LOST" and "The Vampire Diaries." Ian, you might have been the most important person of all. Your ability to be suave as both a plane crash survivor (until you crashed in that other plane that had already landed on the island... how ironic and stupid was it!) and as a vampire on the CW network has shown me that I too can achieve great things. You sir are what all modern men should be compared to. For that, and for increasing the chances of getting to kiss my fiancé after she watches you on TV, I thank you.

With still about a month and a half to go before the wedding the question now is where can I go from here? How about we shoot for a bigger goal now? 240 by August 9th, 2010. That is 9 more pounds. But I think I need a catch-phrase for this new goal. Something like in an infomercial that I can say to you all and if you were a studio audience you would shout back. So let's try it out.

I'm KJ and I'm going to lose 9 more pounds by August 9th, 2010, because...

I can do it and so are you!